Reflections
Writing on therapy, relationships and being human.
Therapy often begins with the questions that are difficult to answer: Why do I keep repeating this? Why does this relationship affect me so deeply? Who am I becoming? What happens when the ways I learned to survive no longer serve me?
These reflections explore some of those questions through psychotherapy, relationships, identity, loss, culture and the complexity of being human.
Self & Identity
The Unlived Self: Who Might We Have Been?
There is something unsettling about discovering that the life we have lived is only one of the lives that might have been possible. On the selves we did not become, and the possibility of making room for more of ourselves within the life we have.
Queer Aging and the Selves We Were Never Expected to Become
There is something strange about reaching an age you were never entirely able to imagine. To grow older as a queer person can feel like arriving in a country for which no reliable map was ever drawn.
The Privilege of a Lifetime: Why Authenticity Is the Work of Becoming Yourself
For many of us, becoming ourselves can sound like something we will eventually achieve. Yet becoming ourselves is less like arriving at a destination and more like returning, again and again, to what is honest.
The Paradox of Change: Why Self-Acceptance Comes First
We often imagine change begins with self-improvement. We are surrounded by messages that suggest growth is a project of correction. But what if this approach misunderstands the very nature of change?
In the Circle: Why LGBTQ+ Group Therapy Matters
For many LGBTQ+ people, the daily calculations of what is safe to reveal become part of how we move through the world. Group therapy can reduce the burden of explanation and open a relational space for belonging, difference and being seen.
Living Within the Spectrum — Late Autism Diagnosis and the Work of Becoming Known
For many adults diagnosed later in life, autism was always there. What changes is the language through which a lifetime can suddenly be reconsidered — and the work of building a life that makes room for genuine needs.
When the hidden Self comes out to play…
There is a particular resonance Winnicott’s line carries within queer lives. For many of the LGBTQ+ community, play was often the first thing stolen and the last thing returned — and healing is the quiet work of being found.
Holding the Line — the Necessity of Boundaries.
Boundaries are often misunderstood. Too easily conflated with coldness or control, they're frequently framed as restriction, barriers to intimacy, freedom or spontaneity.